Well, I

Think I am dropping out of college.  Okay, let me rephrase. I am dropping out of college. Dakota Smith mentions ” Why do people go to college when they have no desire to try, or even to learn?” Well, I fall into that category, somewhat. I came to college as an Atheist, so my priorities were as follows:

Go to school.

Get shwasted.

Acquire currency.

Give NO crap to anything, ever, except doing well in school to get rich.

Needless to say, I was in the wrong. I only wanted to go because I could become rich in the future. I mean, WHO DOESN’T? It is so cool to think that you have the opportunity to get an education and a degree and go to all these lovely businesses and become super rich to buy WHATEVER YOU WANT. And I understand where that could be desirable. It is hard to realize that money isn’t everything, honestly.

But about 9 months ago, when I accepted Christ into my heart, I shortly learned that materialistic things weren’t the only things that mattered. I was taught that these worldly things won’t matter at all when you die. I love this, because I greatly enjoy challenges. I would be in sports if I didn’t weigh 97 lbs. 😛

Back on track, being in my third semester, I am realizing that I am here for the wrong reasons. I LOVE learning. SO MUCH. I love the fact that our brains can remember things, and that we can excel in so many fields. I am truly thankful that God gave us such abilities, but at the same time, I just want to devote my brain to the Bible, and live accordingly.

The thought of not being at my school terrifies me, so badly. I am so comfortable here, with my luxuries and my amazing friends that teach me and that I teach in return. Our friendships are beautiful and I know for a fact that I wouldn’t even BE a person of Christ without them. I would be a lost soul, probably dipped into partying and being a bad person. I love them more than they will ever know and I thank God for them constantly. Back on track, again, I know that my God will not throw something at me that I can’t handle, and I really, really think that he isn’t pushing me in this direction towards school. I am happy for my friends that want to stay. They are good at school and I’m sure they feel that they are in the right place here. I just feel that God really wants to use me for something else, and I am thankful for such feelings.

All in all, I cannot wait to embark on new journeys. I learn lessons HOURLY and I cannot wait to learn more, out in the open.

I understand that this is a big rant, but I had to get it out.

Thank you for reading.

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What am I doing here?

Does anyone else ever ask themselves that?

I am in my second year of college, and honestly, I hate it. The only reason I came back is because I met truly amazing people that I can’t imagine living without. Before I came to college I was completely Atheist, I hated all uniform religion and what it stood for. I won’t get into THAT much but needless to say, I was dumb. I roomed up with a girl from high school that I barely knew and I’m now glad to say that she is my best friend. She’s really religious and nonjudgmental.  And then I met these two special guys, who I now treat as brothers, and they helped me get saved. They (unknowingly) showed me how beautiful our God is and how religion is love. I have never been taught anything about God my entire life. Honestly, I’m glad it turned out that way. Yes, it would be awesome to have known God for nineteen years instead of one, but I’m glad it happened that way. God let it happened when it did for a reason. I needed it most, and my life completely changed. I honestly feel that my life started then. I hardly remember life before Christ. I hate looking back at my bitterness. Anyway, I want to go help the world, and I can’t do so from a dorm room. All I can do is pray that something will happen, pray that I will find comfort somewhere and I will know its where I’m supposed to be. In the meantime, I will just enjoy the ride.

Thanks for reading.

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